Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
