I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
