Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
