Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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