There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
