I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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