sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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