I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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