Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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