great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
