my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
