discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
