You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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