Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
