I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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