ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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