Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
