I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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