OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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