He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
