He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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