both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
