She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
