I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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