I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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