They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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