We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
