: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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