So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
