I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
