we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We're using joints as your birthday candles
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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