you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
