Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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