I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
