Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
