how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
