Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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