What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize