All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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