The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize