Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
