This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize