that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
