69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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