Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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