dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
