I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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