just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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