Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
