Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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