shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
only if we run a train.
done.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
