Your dad touched me again.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize