Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
