last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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