My balls are so social today.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
