i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
