Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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