where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
