I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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