Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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