69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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