Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
